The Parasite

Hey everyone! Wow it has been a minute since I last posted. Well if you didn’t know I’m now in Africa! The place I so longed to be, I am finally at. I’m not going to lie to you, it is so much more different than I imagined Eswatini, Africa to be like. However it’s different in all the best ways. Apon ariving here, I learned that our ministry would be entirely kids ministry. Fun fact I am not a kid person. So naturally my first thought was “Great I get to deal with kids and have to act like I enjoy it.” However during our first week I realized the Lord must have changed a lot in my heart because I wasn’t hating being around the kids, I was actually looking forward to being with them.

As I was getting more excited to go be with the kids on the daily, I started getting really sick. I had constant stomach pain and leaving bed just seemed like the worst idea. After trying to brave through the pain for a week I finally agreed to go to the clinic, where they gave me parasite meds. I spent an entire two weeks stuck at the base. I wasnt able to go to ministry, let alone to go out to the store. I started just getting really bummed about what life was looking like. It didn’t help that I was already feeling slightly depressed at the fact that my World Race chapter was coming to an end. So to be stuck at the base where I can’t do anything to help the kids was slowly breaking me. After being stuck for the first 3 days, I started asking God why. “Why was I put in this situation? And what do I do about it?” After officially getting frustrated with the idea of wasting my final moments of the Race, the Lord finally spoke up. He said “You are trying to show them love from your own hands. You havent yet allowed me to do the work.” Let me tell you something, when you hear those words from the Lord it hits you like a ton of bricks. I really was trying to do everything on my own, even when it came to loving on my squad. So I stopped and started asking what he wants me to do. How can my heart be open to letting him work?

After a while of being fully humbled, I started letting him decide what I do with my time. Before, I simply opted to read or watch a movie, but now I let him choose. 99% of the time he told me to go out and worship. So I’d grab a guitar and praise him. No matter what I sounded like or how bad I thought I was playing, I simply focused on what he wanted. As I was writing a song for him my stomach no longer hurt. The pain was completely gone and I could actually breathe. Then I realized, I didn’t need to do anything but he would take care of everything. I did get to return to ministry and love on the kids again this week.

I was simply amazed at how easy the Lord makes things. We just tend to try to complicate what he wants. Sometimes we think “Surely it can’t be that easy. Surely I have to do things from a long list of what I’ve been told to do.” However it truly is so easy, sometimes the paths we see as simple are the ones that he made for us. The path isn’t always overgrown and difficult. I’ve learned that while we can offer love and affection it doesn’t mean it’s anywhere near as good as what the Lord has to offer. Basically just focus on Him and you can’t go wrong.

Well thanks so much for reading this blog! Until next time!

-Kaili Farns <3