Hey there! It's been a minute since I posted, so I figured I owe yall an update. So here's to one of my favorite moments on the race.

Yesterday, during our activation lesson at the very start the Lord said "This is for you. I'm reminding you why you came." And I was like ok cool I probably need that. As Junior was talking I flipped my journal to a random page and found the list of verses for the baptisms we did in Jaco. I thought wow that's weird and reread some of my first entries and found a quote "He gave his life for us to be faithful not comfortable," and it hit home. I've been living in relative comfort. Then one of the team members, Gabe, said that today they were going to have baptisms. He wanted us to pray and repent and if we wanted to be baptized then we) had that opportunity. The second he said that, God said "You." And I was confused. I was supposed to get baptized in Africa, like that's been my plan since the beginning. I joined this route for Africa and that's where I was called. It'd only make sense to be baptized there. But as I was praying I said "Okay but if I'm supposed to get baptized you're going to have to make it abundantly clear." As I was talking with him he reminded me of so many things.
1.) When our coaches left, Drew hugged me and said "Girly, you are a new creation." I literally went to my room and cried. It meant the world to hear him say that.
2.) While being here I have had to overcome so many obstacles. Everything that could possibly serve as a trigger has sprung up every day, sometimes several times in one day. I finally had enough and sat with the Lord and forced myself to relive the hardest moment of my life. I allowed every memory to come and I faced it head on.
3.) After I heard my dad was coming to PVT, I asked God to truly change me so that when he came I'd be an entirely different person. I didn't want him to see that same girl that left, I wanted him to see a girl living specifically for the Lord. After asking that God said "Your key already says it all." My key says growth.
4.) Guatemala for me has shown me just how much I've grown. Yes I still have so much more to grow in but he has changed me from being a girl who is scared to sleep, to being a girl who literally says "hand me the things I fear so I can stop fearing them." I've learned that anything that I might perceive as scary is nothing compared to how amazing my God is. This is the place where I've gone from timid and fearful to bold and courageous.
5.) God simply said " You weren't made to be scared or to hold onto any past troubles. You were made to be a warrior. To serve me in ways that you would have never imagined. I created you to be fearless and confident. Anything else simply isn't from me.

With that conversation I said "Okay, I will do whatever you want. Here am, send me." So I went up to our baptismal, which was an old bathtub re-purposed to be a baptismal, and I told my entire squad why I was getting baptized. My team came up to baptize me along with our raised up squad leader Gretchen. Many tears were shed in the beautiful display of my love for God. It was such a beautiful time and God was present for all the baptisms that took place.

That's all I got for you! Hope you enjoy and have a beautiful day!
All the love,
Kaili <3